I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
