I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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