My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
