You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
