A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
