we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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