so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
