I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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