Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
