I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
