What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
