you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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