plz talk dirty to me
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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