I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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