One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
