god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
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My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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