Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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