I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
MIDGETS
????
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
