She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it's like heaven, but drunker
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
