he wants to bone in the snuggie
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
