i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
