Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
