It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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