i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
