Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
