how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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