so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
