he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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