I wish my penis had an off switch
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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