Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
