of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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