'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
