i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
