and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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