Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize