I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize