For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize