So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize