we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
