all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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