I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
