Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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