I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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