First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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