I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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