Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
God I need to hump something, right now.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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