nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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