Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
