Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
