You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
