yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
