she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And then my night got REAL pukey
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
