i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
