I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I bet he comes in French.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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