Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
