We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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