I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
