Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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