Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
