so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
