the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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