Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
