is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
